nostalgiaultra:

Gary’s Sex Tips #1002

If she calls out her ex boyfriend’s name in bed go to his house and kiss him. See what the dick about! See what all the fuss is about!

(via halloweenmovie)

snorlaxatives:

legalize peruvian puff peppers

(Source: snorlaxatives, via geniusly)

dietcondoms:

what if everytime u got nervous you yodelled

(via okay)

ignitionremix:

an aesthetic is what they give you before you go into surgery 

(via geniusly)

americanfrontier:

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

(via halloweenmovie)